OMG you’ve made a decision that you want to get started in your own business but you have just had a harsh realisation. You have a fear of selling and to be in business you have to talk to people and convince them to buy your product. It’s at that moment you realise you are terrified of selling and hate the whole idea. Even though you’ve never really done it as a profession or spent anytime learning how to do it as a professional.
In your mind sales is of the devil, it is an evil thing and only the demonic can truly do it. (OK I have maybe gone too far and I have watched too much Supernatural haha). Well even though that last bit may have been a bit too far, your fear of selling is real. You can’t understand how anyone can ever feel comfortable with the whole concept. Promoting a product, talking to someone about that product and then asking that person if they want to buy the product seems so alien however you also know that you need to get over your fear or selling or you will stay broke.
First Understand The Fear Of Selling Is A Lie
Do you realise that your fear of selling is actually a lie? You’re not truly afraid of selling. It’s not that simple. You are afraid of something else however it’s easier to say “I’m Afraid of selling”. But let me say this again. You are not afraid of selling. You see you have been selling things your entire life. Sold your parents on why you should stay home from school those times because you were soooo sick. However you spent half the day hanging out and may have even gone to the shops.
If you have a partner, you sold your partner on why you were a good catch, if you have children you sell them on why they should eat their vegetables (who am I kidding, not many of us are actually any good at that). You have even sold yourself on the lie that you have a fear of selling.
Ask A Better Question To Get A Better Answer
So let’s look a little deeper. If you ask yourself this question; why do I have a fear of selling you may get some weird thought that says your parents always told you sales people are evil and that they just want to take your money. They instilled in you the “Fear of being conned”. These people are the ones that always believe someone has an ulterior motive and shouldn’t be trusted. They believe the price is never the price and that everyone is always hiding something. There are so many people who walk around with the fear of being conned. Check out my article Fear Of Being Conned for more on this. But this is not the reason you have a fear of sales.
A better question to ask is rather than “why” ask “what”… like this. “What scares me about selling?”
When you ask why you are always thinking in the past, that will never take you to the future. Yes you can learn from the past but it is the present we are interested in. When you ask “what scares me about selling” you start to get to the real answer and when you have the real answer you can find a real solution and most of those solutions is just “get over it”. I wish it wasn’t so harsh and real, but that is the reality.
You may be afraid that you will be rejected, you will offend someone because you asked them to buy or you will lose a friend (as if they have never bought anything in their life before…remember that your prospect buys things ALL THE TIME. They are an expert at buying things. You are not asking them to do something they have never done before. Yes they may never have bought your product, but they do know how to buy and how to take responsibility of their decisions.)
You see you are actually don’t have a fear of selling, you have a fear of something else. When you realise this, you can make adjustments to this thought and your own life and a plan to get over that fear.
How do you get over the fear now you realise it’s not a fear of selling?
The absolute best way to get over a fear is to charge straight into it. Tony Robbins is a master at this. He knows that for him to overcome a fear he needs to challenge that fear so he can own his life rather than the fear owning him. The question is how do you charge into it? Well there is always wisdom first. The wisdom of becoming a professional.
In my career, the first part of my success came from pure passion, hard work and focus. I didn’t really know what I was doing, I had no real training I just had confidence. I believed whole heartedly and because I did, so did everyone around me. However when my company went through some very challenging times that lasted over 10 years, it forced me to become “better”. It forced me in that time to learn the skills that would make me a professional and play at a high achiever level. This is what you need to do to overcome the fear you have. Learn how to become a professional. Become the best!
Start to read and devour books, attend seminars and ask questions. Don’t just be a seat warmer, be the hungriest person in the room. Be the person who wants and needs answers. Next take what you learn and apply it. Test it all but test it with passion and purpose. Too many people test things expecting them to fail and because that is their expectation, of course they fail. Don’t be one of those people, be an adult, be the person who tests things with power and intent.
As your knowledge and then experience increases so will your confidence. As your confidence increases you will notice that your fear becomes less and less. Ask any professional how they feel after years and years of practice? They will tell you with confidence that they know they can TRUST THEMSELVES in the heat of the moment. They know they have laid the foundation that will see them through in the times they need it and when the pressure is truly on.
Become that person, become the professional. If you want to truly know how to get rid of and get over the fear of selling then first realise that it’s not a fear of selling, it’s a fear of something else. Next look your true fear squarely in the face and stop allowing it to own your life. It is holding you back and your future is calling you. Become the professional, get a mentor, start a business and build your skills.
It all changes when you change.
